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Silver Blink

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30 Januari 2015
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Some people said: Life begins on the 25th, some people said: The 25th is the climax of maturity and some of them said: You’re in sensitive age of talking about marriage *yes, mostly.

Today is my birthday, I was born on 29th January 25 years ago in a small hospital in a small city called Subang. I was raised by the nicest parents who treated me as a princess hehe (trust me, my childhood is full of happiness). I lived in an ideal family as advertised on television, doing all family things such as dinner, watching movies, playing, studying, and biking on the weekend, also (I save the best for the last) I can get everything that I wanted (I had a private Becak). Envy? yes, you do hehe. At that time my family is on average to above level, so they wouldn’t worry spent the money for us (me and my sister).
Like every people in the world, everybody must have their circle of life, sometimes at the bottom level, sometimes at the average level, sometimes at the above level, and sometimes monotonous permanently. This is life.
Then, my parent divorced. I stayed with my mother and sister in our old house without a father, only us. I never imagined this thing would happen, it’s feel like the sky is fallen, leaving a big hole full of people who looking at us on top (so… it’s kind of a Transformers scene hehe). I’m really not understanding and confused so much. The worst is I feel so tiny, I mean I am just shocked and can’t mind this thing can happen to every family in the world. This condition makes me unsatisfied. I remember I ever told my school friend after watching drama on television, I would escape anywhere if my parents divorced. Do you know? It’s cliche. No matter how hard I imagined the escape and how hard I’d struggle, it was still hard to leave my family behind. Trust me.
I adored the Harry Potter series since I read the review in Bobo magazine during elementary school, it’s the hottest magazine of the 1990 era. I fell in love with J.K. Rowling’s artificial magic worlds (I guess she is a man), a perfect story that is blowing my mind and stuck the delusion of living in magical worlds. I’m so crazy about Harry Potter. I also bought the Hogwarts major book, the DVD, the theme song cassette, the key chain, the fan, the watch, the clock and the stationary such as rulers (I had more than 5 pcs), notes, erasers and many more. it does not include Cinemags (a movie magazine) and the bonus: big posters and movie items.
My cousins had been living in a boarding school in Garut for years, I ever visited her once. My mother (a little bit) was shocked when I told her that I want to go to boarding school like my cousin, I don’t tell her the reason behind it exactly, maybe she thought I want to escape, but the reality is I want to try living in dormitory-like Harry Potter. I just want to full fill my childhood curiosity about living separated from my parents, I guess I could do anything my parent banned because there no one knows me, and no one knows my past… haha it sounds like an action movie right.
So there I am, I left my hometown and all the things inside after I graduated, I ignored a chance for school in the best Junior High School and I do not regret it. Maybe my sister thought that I’m so arrogant, left her and my mother for the better option by myself. But hey! This is my life, I would do anything to make it better as long I can handle it. I would like to have a better life and this is my first step to make it true. Don’t worry about me :).
If I can conquer this, I could survive anything (haha… so drama).
And… the journey begins…

We came from our hometown to boarding school as (rookie) Junior High School students, our parents handed over us to the guide teacher in their high expectation that some days would see us being a religious people who lead people in the right way. I remember the first night we lived in the dormitory, we’re crying together until midnight, At that time I’m not crying because too excited about living separated from my parents (do I? Hehe) My first crying moment is when I heard my mother sound on the telephone, I feel so far away from home and missed her so much.
My first move is adapting, It’s quite hard at first, I must wake up at night (3 PM still dark) and take a bath quickly, go to school after Shubuh praying (seriously, I am shocked) wear my Columbia’s uniform completely, then have a breakfast/lunch/dinner with unknown menu’s (please… I’m suffering) in the public dining room which had a super tiny television attached on the wall, also need to reset my mind because of the holiday is Friday not Monday and the school started from 5 AM until 9 PM (that’s why our school called SMA 59). By the way… girls and boys are separated…

The most difficult thing about adapting to new friends is their personal habits, not everyone same as me. I sleep together with 20 friends in a room called a dormitory, actually, I like sleeping alone in the darkness silently (most of my friends are afraid of the dark, so they keep the light on). You can imagine how disturbed I have heard the noise in my head during sleeping, some nights I am the last person who stays until midnight, waiting for silence.
I memorized my 64 friends by their shoes, sometimes I can’t recognize their faces because similar to others. MABICA (Masa Bimbingan Calon Anggota) or OSPEK made us know each other, at least our group friends. After that, we came closer and like to introduce ourselves by making a biodata (self-profile) on loose-leaf paper with the best handwriting and unique decorations.

My desk friend (we’re sitting together) is Nisa, her sister is my cousin’s friend, nothing wrong with her but almost all of my friends hate her. I don’t know the reason, but I did it too (and regretted it so much). She got bullied by us because one of my friends (let’s call her Pacux) hated her and provoked us. Pacux is kind of queen bee wanna-be, but her nasty behavior made us double thinking about being friends with her.
We grew up as the most rebellious and fearless gang in the school (junior and senior high school united), because sometimes (or always) fighting with our seniors. Not everyone is brave enough to fight, what we had is a great solidarity against them together and making a joke of it. Cruel? right! We’re not bad people (actually, we’re nice :D), we do not like to argue or fight because what we want is to do what we wanna do and we don’t like if there is anyone tried to stop us, we’re lived in our world and never care to other people as long as we’re happy. VIF (Very Important Friend).

I was involved in some teenage crimes, such as food corruption, bullying seniors (juniors forgave), climbing multipurpose buildings, escaping to Pengkolan a.k.a Ceplak street, stealing peanuts and sweet potatoes in a garden beside the dormitory, dating with a boyfriend, wearing a jeans and shorty dress (OMG!!!), playing poker before sleep, arguing with guide teacher, listening radio during the class (only a few of my friend who focused to the teacher), absent the class, sick acting, vandalism school properties and many more, I couldn’t tell every detail of our crime because it’s too much haha Don’t ask about the school things, for us school is the second, the primer is how we spent the days.
We start our maturity by taking care of the organization (it’s a kind of OSIS), having the responsibility of helping us for solving the problem. We were busy for the whole year, making the event, making the training, making the schedule, and blah… blah… blah… Our mind is full of school things, organization things, and relationship things.
BTW, my school is separating boys and girls classes, it’s difficult to have a boyfriend but I made it. Almost every night I got a letter, it could be from anyone, maybe from my friends, maybe from my seniors or maybe from my juniors, the contents is the same they want to know more about me and be a friend. I spent the night by reply their letter (and writing the diary) hehe…
My Junior and Senior High School years were still the best part of my entire life, less school, bullying more, happy together, and enjoying the days. We had tons of fun everyday :* :* :*
Here is Charli XCX’s video, her song represents our daily life exactly.

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